By Jamie Agnello

For our pop-cultural issue, Jamie let us use two of her celebrated poems (inspired by the character of Chuck Bass on “Gossip Girl”).

You can find more of these linguistic gems at  http://ilikedyoubetterbefore.tumblr.com/

I Liked You Better Before

Have a glass of champagne. Please. We’re closing the kitchen early.

You think I don’t know why you left town?

It’s a party. Things happen.

I think you’re more like me than you’d admit.

There’s something wrong with that level of perfection.

Dating forever. That’s a dark thought.

Look. Easy, Socrates— happiness does not seem to be on the menu,

but you’re entitled to tap that ass.Let’s catch up, take our clothes off, stare at each other—

I’m Chuck Bass.

Your Deflowering

That’s enough, ladies— I’ll be sure to tell my father how committed you are to the hospitality industry.

Unless you have a reason to be here, I’ll have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash.

So, you slept with your best friend’s boyfriend— I kind of admire you for it.

I told you— better a broken nose than a broken heart.

So little time, so many sluts to defend.

Here’s the key

to my suite, his heart, and your future happiness. I’m honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.

I’m Chuck Bass.

{Jamie is a current MFA student in Poetry and Theatre at Sarah Lawrence. She is originally from Oil City, Pennsylvania. It is a real place. Jamie keeps it real.}