For our “City Issue,” Jamie is back with three more of her celebrated poems (inspired by the character of Chuck Bass on “Gossip Girl”). What’s more New York City than Upper West Side-Prep-School inspired poetry? You can find more of these linguistic gems at http://ilikedyoubetterbefore.tumblr.com/
Bad News
Look, anyone who trades in
their trust fund for a fanny pack
flies in the face of all that is
holy to Chuck Bass.
If it cost more than 10 grand,
it earns a proper name.
Everyone out there wants to be us.
We are what you aspire to.
You’re gonna tell me that the life
of a YouTube filmmaker
is better than this?
There is no outside world
that I do not show you.
Stop talking.
Start partying.
I’m Chuck Bass.
The Handmaiden’s Tale
Welcome to the Upper East Side.
Little Jenny Humphrey manages
to get my pants off—
and have me not enjoy it.
Quite the accomplishment.
Well, hello, angel.
Beautiful…and mean?
I’ve got chills.
Care to dance with the poor devil?
You’re getting warmer,
which is an achievement
because you’re already hot.
If I was your man,
I wouldn’t need clues to find you.
I’m Chuck Bass.
Victor/Victrola
Alfonso made me an omelet.
I may have washed it down
with a Bellini or two.
Your position in my esteem
has been replaced by your voicemail.
Victory party. Here. Tomorrow.
I’ll send a car.
A burlesque club:
a respectable place
where people can
let loose.
Pure escape.
You’re ten times hotter
than any of those girls.
Why don’t you get up there?
This is the perfect thing.
I’ve been waiting for this.
What happens at Victrola
stays at Victrola.
I’m Chuck Bass.
{Chuck Bass photo courtesy via Giovanni Rufino/The CW}
{Ed Westwick and Taylor Momsen photo courtesy of tengossip via splashnews}
{Victor/Victrola photo courtesy via The CW}
Re/Visionist 