I’m not talking
racquet sports.
This is a gentleman’s club
{much love and s’mac to Jamie. xx http://ilikedyoubetterbefore.tumblr.com/}
the only thing Chuck Bass has to say about sports…
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Tag Archives: Gossip Girl
[More] Poems
For our “City Issue,” Jamie is back with three more of her celebrated poems (inspired by the character of Chuck Bass on “Gossip Girl”). What’s more New York City than Upper West Side-Prep-School inspired poetry? You can find more of these linguistic gems at http://ilikedyoubetterbefore.tumblr.com/
Bad News
Look, anyone who trades in
their trust fund for a fanny pack
flies in the face of all that is
holy to Chuck Bass.
If it cost more than 10 grand,
it earns a proper name.
Everyone out there wants to be us.
We are what you aspire to.
You’re gonna tell me that the life
of a YouTube filmmaker
is better than this?
There is no outside world
that I do not show you.
Stop talking.
Start partying.
I’m Chuck Bass.
The Handmaiden’s Tale
Welcome to the Upper East Side.
Little Jenny Humphrey manages
to get my pants off—
and have me not enjoy it.
Quite the accomplishment.
Well, hello, angel.
Beautiful…and mean?
I’ve got chills.
Care to dance with the poor devil?
You’re getting warmer,
which is an achievement
because you’re already hot.
If I was your man,
I wouldn’t need clues to find you.
I’m Chuck Bass.
Victor/Victrola
Alfonso made me an omelet.
I may have washed it down
with a Bellini or two.
Your position in my esteem
has been replaced by your voicemail.
Victory party. Here. Tomorrow.
I’ll send a car.
A burlesque club:
a respectable place
where people can
let loose.
Pure escape.
You’re ten times hotter
than any of those girls.
Why don’t you get up there?
This is the perfect thing.
I’ve been waiting for this.
What happens at Victrola
stays at Victrola.
I’m Chuck Bass.
{Chuck Bass photo courtesy via Giovanni Rufino/The CW}
{Ed Westwick and Taylor Momsen photo courtesy of tengossip via splashnews}
{Victor/Victrola photo courtesy via The CW}
[I liked you better before]: poems
For our pop-cultural issue, Jamie let us use two of her celebrated poems (inspired by the character of Chuck Bass on “Gossip Girl”).
You can find more of these linguistic gems at http://ilikedyoubetterbefore.tumblr.com/
I Liked You Better Before
Have a glass of champagne. Please. We’re closing the kitchen early.
You think I don’t know why you left town?
It’s a party. Things happen.
I think you’re more like me than you’d admit.
There’s something wrong with that level of perfection.
Dating forever. That’s a dark thought.
Look. Easy, Socrates— happiness does not seem to be on the menu,
but you’re entitled to tap that ass.Let’s catch up, take our clothes off, stare at each other—
I’m Chuck Bass.
Your Deflowering
That’s enough, ladies— I’ll be sure to tell my father how committed you are to the hospitality industry.
Unless you have a reason to be here, I’ll have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash.
So, you slept with your best friend’s boyfriend— I kind of admire you for it.
I told you— better a broken nose than a broken heart.
So little time, so many sluts to defend.
Here’s the key
to my suite, his heart, and your future happiness. I’m honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.
I’m Chuck Bass.
{Jamie is a current MFA student in Poetry and Theatre at Sarah Lawrence. She is originally from Oil City, Pennsylvania. It is a real place. Jamie keeps it real.}
